


in the dead of night

by venusintwelfth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, DaiSuga Week, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26655562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venusintwelfth/pseuds/venusintwelfth
Summary: “I wish you’d be more selfish, Daichi,” Suga says, eyes and voice steady and Daichi wishes he could blame the way his breath stumbles out of him on the liquor, but they both know Daichi hasn’t had anything to drink tonight.daisuga day 6 prompt - 3 am/3 pm
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58
Collections: DaiSugaWeek2020





	in the dead of night

“You’re so dependable, Daichi.”

Daichi has heard this - or some variation - countless times in his life. When he used to play sports, when he got good marks at school, when he’d drive his friends back home after a day of hanging out. Said by peers and parents alike, always marveling at how solid Daichi is, so intent on doing what he feels is right. 

Right now, though, Suga says the word _dependable_ like it leaves a sting on his tongue. 

They are in their shared dorm, moonlight peeking in between the blinds to give the room a deep purple hue. There’s a lamp on, sitting on the small set of drawers next to Daichi’s bed. Suga looks flushed in this light, cheeks a tinge too red from the alcohol. 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Daichi asks, looking over at his friend while sitting on the edge of the bed, scanning his face for any signs that he might feel sick. It’s three in the morning, and Daichi has just sat Suga down after helping his fumbling form back from the party they had been to. 

Suga sighs, “It is, but you know what I mean.”

Daichi lets out a small laugh, brushes back a piece of silver hair before he can stop himself. “I think you’re drunk, Suga,” he says, a bit too soft. Bit too fond. 

An annoyed look crosses Suga’s face, and Daichi worries the touch was too familiar until he whispers, “You’re always there for everyone,” eyes looking down at his hands sitting in his lap.

“I’m still not following you Suga,” Daichi says, glancing out the window when he hears a particularly loud group outside their hall, likely coming back from a party of their own. 

“Don’t you just-” Suga stops, takes a breath, “Don’t you ever do something _you_ want to do?” 

Daichi looks back at his friend, confusion lacing his tone as he asks, “What do you mean? Of course I do, Suga, we just went out.”

“Yeah but I’m the one who suggested it,” Suga counters, finally looking up at Daichi again and his eyes are honest, searching. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

Daichi doesn’t respond, not right away, and time feels suspended, feels surreal this late in the night to the point where he can convince himself he’s fallen asleep, dipped his toe in fantasy. 

“What do you want, Daichi?” Suga continues, gaze turning pleading, almost desperate. 

“I don’t know, Suga,” Daichi whispers, and he’s lying, he knows he is and the way Suga’s gaze falls down to the space between them makes Daichi fear that his friend knows too. 

It’s quiet for a moment, no noise in the halls or out the window and Daichi wants to reach out again but his arms feel too heavy, position suddenly too awkward. 

“I just-” Suga starts, voice soft, a bit shaky, and Daichi tells himself it’s just the alcohol-infused words, that it doesn’t mean anything. 

Suga’s hand traces up Daichi’s arm and he shivers, gaze snapping up to Suga’s before the next words finally tumble out. 

“I wish you’d be more selfish, Daichi,” Suga says, eyes and voice steady and Daichi wishes he could blame the way his breath stumbles out of him on the liquor, but they both know Daichi hasn’t had anything to drink tonight.

The room shrinks, and suddenly it is just Suga, everything unspoken piling up into the air between them and Daichi can’t breathe, can’t do anything but stare back at Suga and tame all the wild questions that want to race from his lips. 

It feels like days before Suga’s eyes soften, caving first and he takes a deep breath before saying “I’m sorry, I sound ungrateful. Thank you for getting me back safely, Daichi. You’re a great friend.” 

And all the unspoken words dissolve and drain away as Suga yawns, finally laying down in the bed. Daichi looks at him for a beat longer, before saying goodnight but by then Suga’s breath has already evened out, the night’s events taking their toll. 

Daichi walks over to his bed and stands for a moment, mind flooded with thoughts he had spent months wishing away. Lingering glances, small touches, soft smiles play like a cinema reel behind closed eyelids as Daichi breathes, in and out. 

_”What do you want?”_ The question rings in Daichi’s ear because Suga’s right - it’s something he’s never let himself think about, never let linger. Laying himself down, Daichi lets himself admit, in the darkness of the room, how much he craves. 

Suga and Daichi had been roommates freshman year, nerves and excitement intertwining into stiff first handshakes. Daichi remembers thinking that Suga seemed a bit unreal, silver hair shining and smile so warm he couldn’t help but melt. 

They gravitate towards each other over late-night study sessions and bags of takeout. Daichi learns Suga and Suga reads Daichi and he thinks how fortunate he is, to come back from long days to someone who feels safe, where his guards can fall down. 

Daichi doesn’t know when exactly the gazes turned a bit more heated, more summer afternoon than spring morning, but some days he thinks they were always headed down this road. An inevitable crash, an intertwining that is unavoidable when two people grow side by side. 

They had agreed to be roommates again the next year, knowing the treasure that is finding a person you can live alongside so early in their college career. Exchanging texts and phone calls all through the summer, the weight of Daichi’s feelings crashed into him like tidal waves the next time he saw Suga in person. They hold each other like they’re the only thing keeping the other afloat and Daichi marvels at what can change in a single season. 

But between classes and extracurriculars, Daichi found himself reasoning. There was no guarantee that Suga felt the same way, and even if his friend did, it was risky. What if they didn’t last? What if they wanted different things? The year had just started and it would be bad if they ruined their dynamic so early on. It was better to be careful, Daichi had concluded. Play it safe. 

Because that was what Daichi always tried to be - dependable, fair, responsible. Always giving, never asking for much in return.

 _I wish you’d be more selfish, Daichi._ Suga had said, and it echoes in the room until orange bleeds into purple in the window outside, and Daichi finally drifts to sleep.

* * *

When Daichi wakes up the next morning, he looks over to see Suga sitting up in his bed, reminiscent of the scene from earlier that morning, sipping at the water Daichi had left beside him. Suga smiles softly, screwing the top of the bottle back on before putting it to the side. 

“Good morning,” Suga says, smile widening. “Thanks for the water, I hope I didn’t do anything too embarrassing last night.”

Daichi just stares, looking for something, not sure of what to call it yet. Suga’s brows furrow, lack of response not usual for the two of them, even in the haze of waking up. 

“Ok, how bad was it?” Suga asks, concern lacing his tone and it finally forces Daichi’s mouth open.

“No, you didn’t say anything bad, for once.” Daichi says, earning a laugh from Suga and he cracks a smile. “Just told me I’m too dependable.”

“Did I?” Suga smiles. “I can be a bit mean when I’ve been drinking.” 

Daichi laughs this time, before responding, “Yes, you were insistent on finding out what I wanted. Told me I should be a bit more selfish.”

Suga stills, eyes widening a bit and Daichi is silent as he looks back at him, and he can feel the questions piling up again, but this time it’s Suga biting his tongue. The afternoon light filters through the room and Daichi thinks that there is no hiding now, both barren in the bright heat of the sun. 

“I’m sorry, Daichi, that probably made you uncomfortable,” Suga says, “And after you’d been such a good friend to me-”

“I don’t-” Daichi interrupts him, stopping to get up from his own bed and walk over towards Suga, “I don’t want to be your friend, Suga.”

He stops at the edge of Suga’s bed, looking down at his friend and lets himself see everything he wished away for the past few weeks, since they had first gotten back to campus. He allows himself to see his own want mirrored in Suga’s eyes, the way his hands move over the sheets, like Suga has to stop himself from touching. 

“What do you want, Daichi?” Suga breathes and he’s leaning up, Daichi moving down and they are orbiting each other, the space between them dwindling into nothing but a memory. 

Then Daichi is reaching out, hands cradling Suga’s face, and for once - he takes.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! feel free to talk to me on [tumblr](https://simp4sugawara.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/simp4saeko).


End file.
